Fighting The Pressure Within

I tend to walk through life on a daily basis noting different topics and I think, “this is something others can relate to!” Then I let it slip right back out of my mind and I continue on through my day.

Today, however, I don’t let it slip.

It’s at the forefront of all I can think of right now. I have a big decision I have to encounter. I have decided to go back to school. My husband and I have talked about this for many years. We always knew this day would come we just didn’t know what or when or how. It’s not a decision to take lightly with 5 kids still at home and working as well.
I have been accepted into a few different programs in the psychology field and the excitement has definitely grown for me. But so has the pressure. From whom?

No one but myself.

Making the decision common knowledge amongst friends and family and even clients I have received nothing but support. The issue doesn’t lie there. My internal struggle comes with moving fast. It’s always been that way for me. I have to pull on the reigns often in my own mind (even though to my husband it may seem I never pull at all 🙂 )  It’s a constant tug of war.
I feel ready, I see the opportunity, and I’m not afraid of the work. But is my body ready? Why would I ask that question? Because the body remembers!  Those who have read through my website know my story. The last 20 years have been a whirlwind of life. Not only having 5 kids but starting a physical therapy company. I worked full-time on part-time hours running all the extra things behind the scenes and answering calls and dealing with insurance companies while still trying to be 110% mom while home.
Then there was a shift in my career and starting a new business. With many other big-ticket stress items in there, I know I wouldn’t want to go back and change any of it. However, I also remember the toll it took on me mentally and emotionally. I’ve spent the better part of these past 2 years finally reaching a place of health again.
Here is the tug of war. College? I have to be sure I’m physically ready. My body harbors physical pain with stress in my life. I feel this has taken too much time from my family over the years. I am loving my new life without back pain anymore. I also have to be emotionally ready.
I am now, most days, the mom I have wanted to be. No more stress means a LOT less yelling and so many more positives. We have the time to eat better, play more games, go more places. If I dive into school do I give that up? Not intentionally that’s for sure.

There are a lot of factors that go into the decisions we make.

I have spent the last 3 years coaching people and telling them to “just step out of the picture”, what do you see? Just the words on this screen are the power and perspective it is taking me to understand more.  Coaching them through understanding what they notice physically.  What signals is your body sending you?
So am I ready?
I know whatever decision I make, there is a plan and purpose far greater than I may understand right now and that trusting God’s lead, it will work out the way it should.
What big decisions do you have to make?  Are you listening to what your body is telling you?  Can you see the picture from all angles? I’d love to hear what you have to say!

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