How do you know if you’re NOT good parents? Which of those questions feels easier for you to answer? I think the latter is true for most of us. It takes a little extra brainpower to find the positive. Take the challenge! Make a list of 5 attributes that you feel make a good parent.
To start, I want to give you a little boost of confidence. You clicked on this blog to read it. So? You are aware, and THAT is a really big deal when being a good parent. You are asking questions and seeking answers. If you clicked on this blog to get all the answers, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I have 5 of my own and there is not a one-size-fits-all. Then to throw in different parenting styles on top of it. Each child brings their own uniqueness to the family and that’s your greatest challenge. What makes you the perfect parent for one child may be difficult for another. Now, that being said, I do truly believe there are some basics that are essential in any family.
1. Lead by example.
By now you know that your child watches every single thing you say and do and unfortunately this can be quite revealing sometimes. But take heart, you have complete control! If you feel you don’t, or if you’re stuck in a pattern, you do have the ability to change this.
2. Say it how you mean it and when you mess up, say so.
You say everything with a snide tone of voice or disgust but you really aren’t disgusted with your child, you’re just exhausted from your day. Sound familiar? The problem is that they don’t know the difference. For those of you who have children old enough to understand difficult days, I suggest you apologize for your rude behavior. They need to know you are human too. You may be surprised by how much grace and forgiveness they have for you. After all, they have bad days too. Keep in mind… how do you feel in the presence of someone who is never wrong?
3. Show you care
Kids aren’t any different than grown-ups when it comes to this. They want to know they matter. Put the phone down….face down or not even present….and LISTEN! Make eye contact and respond. Believe me when I say I daily struggle with this one. That darn phone is always buzzing and if I don’t truly get it out of sight, they know. They know my attention was half of what it should have been and I’m guilty of letting them walk away when the conversation should have been resolved then and there. Again, awareness. It’s going to happen, and you’ll slip up, but if you’re aware half the battle has been won.
Congratulations for taking the time to seek out a few reminders on being that good parent. I invite you to keep being aware.
If you feel like parenting is a monumental task or you can’t handle the roller coaster, remember you have control. If you are struggling to find that control, I’d be honored to help. Visit my website for more information.